To forgive or not to forgive?

I must admit that up to a year ago, I struggled with the act of forgiveness. There's no one definition of forgiveness, but in general, forgiveness is a conscious decision to release resentments and thoughts of revenge. It is the act of untying yourself from thoughts and feelings that bind you to the offense committed against you or your loved one.

Persons may ask, "Doesn't forgiving someone mean you're forgetting or condoning what happened?" My simple response to this is - no. Forgiving isn't the same as forgetting what happened to you. The act that hurt or offended you may always remain a part of your life. But forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life.

Years ago when I struggled with the very thought of forgiving someone who caused me great pain, I attended an enlightenment programme, which caused me to focus on my issues, and give myself the greatest gift I could ever give - Forgiving myself. Once I did that and recognized that my fullest potential was being inhibited by the anger and resentment I felt towards this person, accepting him for who he was and forgiving him for what I felt was his inflicting unspeakable pain against me, gave me the most freeing feeling I have ever experienced.

And so, as a very close friend of mine now struggles with forgiveness, I was brought back to the time I denied myself of the love and peace that I so truly deserved. I had a coaching session with him this morning, and felt his pain. I said a silent word of prayer for him - trusting that he will be released of his anger. I continue to pray for him, with the hope that he will find the strength I know he has, to forgive the person who he feels caused him so much pain.

To him, I reiterate, that forgiveness does not come with conditions. It is an an unconditional act that frees up and puts to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.

It's Christmas!

I woke up this morning, to a beautiful day. The streets are calm, the sky is blue and the air is crisp. It's Christmas.

My day began. I changed my sheets and bathroom set (a ritual my mother and I always share), and watched an episode of my favourite comedy, "Golden Girls". I called my mother, making sure not to call too early, as she would normally spend the entire Christmas Eve cooking. I'm almost sure the beginning of Christmas Day met her in the kitchen. I spoke online to my best friend Kirsten, and then sat infront of my computer, ensuring that I send Christmas greetings to all who read my blog.

As I sit here, I think of my family and friends, and in particular, two friends who lost their mother earlier this year. I send them light and love, and wish for them all the joy the day brings.

Barely into 9:00am, I am eagerly looking forward to the remainder of the day - making breakfast with my hubby, and later, visiting my mother, father, brothers and sister.

What a peaceful feeling today brings. May the love, joy and peace of Christmas, be with you and yours today, and throughout the remainder of the year.

Women You Want To Be Around

Last evening at my office's annual get together, we ate, laughed, teased, poked fun at each other, played games, and exchanged gifts. The ratio of women to men at that function was 3:1, but that didn't matter to any of us - we were all blessed to be in each other's company.

As the evening progressed, I looked around the room and observed the dynamics of the group. In that moment, I became present to the different qualities that each and everyone of these beautiful and strong women bring to table. I also immediately looked at the qualities my mother and my very close sisters bring to the table and realise that these women who I will always want to be around:-

1. see the strengths, and not the limitations in others. They make you proud to be yourself

2. trust you so fully that you feel compelled to meet their expectations. Consequently, they make you feel like a better person than you normally are

3. respect you for what you have done and where you have come from

4. are authentic and don't need you to lie to them to feed their egos

5. live by their rules but don't expect you to follow them

6. are at peace with themselves, so they don't have to prove anything to you

7. are good listeners and sincerely interested in you so you feel important. Because they are available for honest and genuine discussion, they make you want to share yourself.

To all the women who have made an impact in my life (you know who you are), this post is for you.

Camille.

Christmas 2008 Postponed?

Last night, my dear friend (whom I affectionately call KP) and I were lamenting the state of the economy. I jokingly exclaimed, "My Christmas is postponed until December 2011! I was planning to come to your house to mooch off what you have there! And then rekindle other 'lost friendships' by showing up on their doorsteps and mooching off them too!" We had a hearty laugh at all the possibilities of how we would actually celebrate Christmas this year. We also shared our joy reminiscing on previous years, as the month of December would always greet us with Christmas lights, Christmas trees and various Christmas adornments and decorations.

As a child I always looked forward to Christmas - the aroma of baked ham floating from Mummy's kitchen, Christmas cake, drowned in raisins and rum, staying up late on Christmas Eve watching her prepare the sorrel, the chicken, the roast beef and everything else. Oh how I joyously reflect!

Today, five days into December, there are hardly any Christmas lights put up on people's balconies, porches or trees in their front yards (yet), and all around persons are sharing the same conversation KP and I shared last night.

This morning, I asked myself, "Will my Christmas REALLY be postponed?"

Despite a somewhat dry pocket and a dim outlook for Christmas (when compared to the shopping sprees that I usually go on), I affirm that my Christmas will NOT be postponed! Not this year, not EVER. God is my source, and the Universe is exact in its laws. Whatever you ask for or release into the Universe, it shall be given/provided in abundance. Everyone is feeling the economic pinch at this time, but as we look around at our family and our friends, we ought to revel in the love, encouragement and support that these people give us on a daily basis.

I, for one, am blessed to be surrounded by the people who I work with on a daily basis, my very good friends like KP who has always been a source of strength and inspiration for me, my family who supports my dreams and aspirations unconditionally and my hubby who is a rock to me and keeps me level-headed and grounded. These people are my Christmas. Money may be short, but it just might be possible that with these people in my life, I have experienced Christmas right throughout the entire year.

May the peace and joy of Christmas be with you and yours this holiday season.

Camille.